Ever since the buses were changed to hi-tech last year (or the year before that), the bus drivers of my college have taken a new avatar. These transporters frame rules that even Frank Martin of Transporter movie would have considered too many. Here are the rules. (from the drivers’ point of view). (applicable for most of them)
Rule No 1 : You are the king of the bus and the cleaner is your minister.
Rule No 2 : When someone wants to board a bus and if it is a stop assigned for the bus, STOP! If it is necessary, make the student to run to board the bus.
Rule No 3 : When someone wants to board a bus and if it is not a stop assigned for the bus, think again.
1. If you are interested, stop!
2. Else, just flee!
3. If you are kind hearted, slow down a little to show that you cannot stop there and flee.
4. If you are really kind hearted, stop the bus, let them board and give them a warning that it is the last time you are gonna stop at that stop.
Rule No 4 : Befriend a staff or a lab assistant of the bus to gain support from the staff side (There is no way the students are going to support you unless you are good to them).
Rule No 5 : If some student argues with you on the way to college, stop the bus and threaten the staff to ask the student to go away. Don’t start the bus unless your threat is complete.
Rule No 6 : If you hit someone or some vehicle on the road, just run and never look back!
Rule No 7 : If some other vehicle hits you, catch that driver, park the vehicle somewhere and threaten money from the other driver until he submits. Do it even if it costs time for the students and the staffs and do it even if it costs a test for the students.
Rule No 8 : If there is a speed breaker ahead, drive slowly at first so that the front wheel moves smoothly. Then immediately gain speed so that the back wheel takes an immediate jump over the speed breaker thereby throwing all the students at the back.
Rule No 9 : If a student or a bunch of students wants to get down at a stop, think again.
1. If it is not a stop assigned for the bus, just start cursing and stop the bus much ahead of the actual point where the student wants to stop.
2. If it is a stop assigned for the bus, stop slowly and before the last person gets down, start moving the bus so that the student runs along with the bus before getting down.
Rule No 10 : If you are really bored and there has been no fights recently, do not stop the bus at a stop. If someone argues, claim that it is not a stop.
